For all the men out there..

When a woman give you a shit storm it is not because she is angry. Most of the times it is because she is in love. But sometimes you really deserve it!

There are so many various reasons for us women to go over "the edge", really guys. But you are not innocent in this matter! Sometimes I wish that you just were honest. Yes, we ladies also make this mistake. So we are no better in that matter. And we have a tendency to over analyze things. Even tho we are smart and awake we do this to ourselves every time. So if someone could tell us why we have to do this, it would make my day!

And you are really something for yourselves you guys. When we think we got you, we do not. And when we think we got rid of you, we have not! It is a eternal puzzle this game. And I do not feel that I am any smarter than I was ten years ago. So sorry to all the ladies out here that think that you got the hang of it. Because, that is not the case! Sometimes we do, but there is things we ladies think that just is not right. Where these thoughts come from, I got no idea. But they sure pop in my head form time to time.

As for myself I am a free spirit, who needs my space and freedom. But to have the big L in my life is also something that I will!
So keep up fate and believe - it will happen!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

It is snowing..

The snow, the snow is falling here in Oslo!
Slowly and white from the sky it is falling.
White on the road and sidewalks it is lying.
Waiting for all of the flakes to come down.

Now there is time to stay inside with your sweetheart.
Chill out and just be for the moment!

Live and Love!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Loneliness

Living alone is something a lot of people do in our world today. If it is by their own choice or not, no one knows for sure. But as for myself, I would not choose that for me.

As I grow more years on my back and the time slips away, I sometimes feel a little lonely. There is times that I would love to be a twosome for real! But sometimes it is oh so good to be alone. Or just have the freedom! I love my freedom and hate when I feel trapped. Of course it depends on what kind of trapped and what I get out of it myself. But I think that every person needs their freedom and own space. Just to feel alive and spread their wings a little. It is also smart to not be to square, but soften up and chill out more.

I know that I from time till time go inside myself and hide out. Because I need "me-time", just to recharge and reboot. It is not an easy life to live, but it is a time that we should appreciate and do the most of. Just try to make the time worth while when you are alive.
People are often lonely from various reasons like illness, death, disputes, single life and by choice.


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

What to do?

How to make the right choice? And when do you know it is right? How can we make a decision for the rest of our lives?

I think that we all have doubts from time to time. And that the panic attacks comes in waves. I know that I have had a few these last days. So why? When it all comes easy and I should be satisfied, I am not. Is it that I am out for drama? The game is suddenly gone in some way. And it looks a little boring from my point of view. But is this reality or is it just in my head?
And I do think that things should be easy. There should not be confusions and misunderstandings. But what if I do not remember what is what any more. Is the feeling i got in my stomach happiness or doubts?

So I think that maybe I should just let things happen naturally this time around. Just be the lady and chill out.



Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

This time..

My body, mind and soul feels weird. It is like something is wrong. I guess it is just that I am in a bad place at the moment.

My inside feels like it will explode soon. I have a lot on my mind these days. And just for the time being it feels like I got no one to talk to! I know that that is not the case. But I do feel lonely. And the twist here is that I love being in my own company. It is not a good feeling, this loneliness-when-there-is-people-around-me-feeling. It is like a panic attack times 100!
So maybe it is my consciousness telling me to chill out and take a deep breath. I know from before that I do stress sometimes. I have an active persona that almost always is "up-there". I use a lot of energy! It can translate to, I eat a lot. And there is nothing wrong with that!

All the good things in life comes trough food! So to get trough to me, guess what - yes!

Where does all the people go? Just take a look around you and smile!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

For the time being..

What is going on? Oh, would you tell me please. It is nothing but a huge messy pile of thoughts and things. Sometimes I wish that it all could just go away.

I sit alone with myself in my humble home. Just wishing for someone to notice. I do not know what I really want. But as it as come to me neither does anybody else. Some people get angry for comments they should not be. What is up with that?
Free agents can do what they want, right?
And why hang around if you do not like me! Just tell me. I have a problem with seeing what is what sometimes. Like I "only" hear and remember negative shit! There are examples where I was in a happy place, but the memories are destroyed by all the negativity. How did this happen to me, that are one of the most optimistic ladies that one of you will ever meet?

I have a friend and with him I can be myself. I still have these restrictions inside me. But you still know who you are I hope! This is a real, not cryptic!

But I sometimes wish that someone could take me away with them. On the sky high of pure happiness and honesty. Just be the one that would take me by storm! And just so you know - I have been fucked up by other people! So it does take time. But the thing with my time, it moves fast.

But it is time to get some sleep and tomorrow it is a new day with new possibilities!

Stay real!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

A last goodbye..

Seeing you in the earth today. And I am going to Tønsberg to say my last goodbye to you for now. With sadness in my heart and soul this is where I leave you in this world.

But we will meet again. Like equals and be happy! So this one is for you DAD. Love you now and for ever!
Say hi to the others and tell them that it is all good and until we all meet again - take care!



Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Why do we need another person?

When the scars healed we start all over again. And sometimes even before. Why do we do this to ourselves?

In my left palm I have a scar, from one night. But it is really something to remember I keep wondering and asking myself. Is it worth my time and devotion? I am kind of a whimsical person, but I am faithful to the people who deserve it. But I do have my doubts about certain people. Yes, and I do attach to people fast. I am certain in what I mean and how I feel. My flaw is that I am not "free" enough to let it out. I have a problem with intimacy, because of all the scars.

It is hard to know what you want? Why do you not just go for the good things that is in front of you. Just reach out your hand.

So I think I fucked up. I have done wrong and I do admit it! Sorry! But at times I have a problem with seeing what is real and what is not. But I know, no excuse!

And Sundays are for chilling with someone.. So why keep a person that is not willing to sacrifice Sundays?


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Touch Me..

This is the way it should be!
So if you guys remember this it should be pretty easy for you.

"Touch me while I'm touching you. And kiss me while I'm kissing you. And love me while I'm loving you. And do me while I'm doing you".

Never underestimate a tune! This one is a happy one and it will get your groove on!

So get your groove on and dance the night away!

Love


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

You and I...

So tell me what this is. Is it all just fake or is it real? You and I so insane and messy amazingly high. It feels like I am losing myself when you are not around.

My life and dreams are things I try to be excited about. But you make me think and the days just slip away. So when I lose my grip I doubt that I have taken the right choice. It is hard to know when it is right. Just because I do not know if this is for real. So if you could update me on what is what, that would make me happy.
The more people I speak with, the more unsure I have become. Or maybe everything just is in my head. I have this thing with thinking to much some times. Forgetting to take things for what it is worth.

But hey, I have to say that if the honesty is gone, what is left then? This feather like feeling gets me blown away. Sometimes I feel this, but sometimes I do not! Just forgetting how to live...


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Honesty

For the time being I do wonder about the honesty in people. Are they really what they say they are or is it all just a disguise?

How many stories is there about people who scam others? I saw an article about a rich woman being scammed by a gigolo! How can you be so stupid that you give away millions? I see that we should trust and see the good in people, but hey - do not be naive or stupid! And for you who are dishonest, get a grip!

Anyways, this comes back to yourselves some day. Like me, I am a little to fast to judge a situation. But that is because I do not always remember to trust my intuition! So from now, I will try to remember this!
The only thing I demand is honesty. If this is not something you can do, there is just no use for me in you life. We all have these "white-lies" and "short-cuts". But if you can not share your thoughts with your closest friends, who will ever listen?

I also have a few small things to sort out inside this head of mine. All my thoughts and analyzing will some day give me agony and headaches. And it is already a little bit to much. So I will chill and mellow down to save myself from hurting me...

Just remember it all comes out in the light some day!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Girls nigth out..

It is Saturday and we are on the wagon. Drinking and chatting the night away. About it all and everything. How are it that we always end up talking about boys/men? Do you guys talk about us ladies that much?

The punch here is that we are a little different. Us ladies and you guys! Do not be fooled when we smile and act innocence. Ask questions and be a little curious on what really is going on here. Do not be afraid, but take the risk and go outside your comfort zone. You are missing out on so much these days that you would not even believe it.

How do you know when people are serious?

But we are not thinking about nothing today just out for fun! And for all this mystery - just fuck it! You are not mysterious, you are just stupid some times. And for as long as this friendship thing between guys and us women goes. It is a little different. Here we think we all just are friends and then we are not. Do you really want more or is it like we think?

And what about these pretty girls, is it all about how they look? We all like pretty things, but how long would you go?

Anyways - it is time to rock your world!


Copyright © 2008 Lady ahy

If This Ain't Love..

Then tell me what is. I wonder about what is going on in that little head of yours. So could you please open your heart and tell me?

"You can not change me, just tell me what is up and let me know.
So say what you want, because now is the time for you to realize.
And stop waisting your life. Take a change and be bold.
Let it rip and your feelings go.
Do not regret what you did not do or say.
Leave the world behind yourself today.
Do take charge over your own life.
And let the people around you know what is wrong. Just be strong".

I think that I might see things more clearly now. Or is it just fake all that I see? Does my mind play tricks on me or is it just me? So If you could read my mind, would you tell that to me? Would you be inside and outside at all times? All these question, but still no answer. Hey, do not be scared. It is just thoughts and letters. Do not let it get under your skin. Just take it in, think about it and then see what happens. For a time I have been in the shadow, but as I see it is time to come out in the light and play.

So if it is me, let me know!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Selfridged peoples..

It has come a few things to my mind. Amongst others that there are people who think more of themselves then they should! Some think that everything has to do with them and whenever someone say something it is directed towards them. And I have to say this is not appealing at all.

Some do just take everything personally and do not know when it is not meant for them. Others do put more into things than they should and think that it is about a person. So for now I have to say that this is just thoughts, questions and things rushing trough my mind. And maybe if you read between the lines sometimes or just get an understanding of the language i write in. This should not be foreign as we all speak, write and read English. So please just see what this is and not judge or presume something before you know it is for real.

I have been trough my share of both "relationshits" and other shit in life. And some of them are not even worth thinking about anymore. Though this can be taken wrong by a few of you that is not my intention. The hings I want you to know I say to your face. So if I do not, do not think that it is about any specific person. Very much is in general and from the inside of my twisted little world. But do not worry this will not effect any of you.
Just the one dude in my world!

But hey, do not think that I do not take things personally. I am actually maybe the worst ever. Because I always think the worst when it comes to my own life. But the tide will turn and it has to. If not it will just make me sad and angry and that is not something I want to be. I love this fire inside, the optimistic and positive soul within.


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

Still waiting..

Is it all worth it in the end I wonder. All this agony inside and analyzing I do. Will it make the wait worth wile?

Still I do promise myself that I would set these boundaries and demand a certain respect. But maybe I am to fast to judge a situation? I often hear this from my mom, she says that I stress to much. So when I do take a deep breath and stop I see it clearly. This fast moving phase, like a shadow of reality. How can I always do this? Is it in my nature to chase?
But when I think about it, I also am patient. Like with the people whom I care for. I accept a lot, maybe sometimes to much. But I may have lost some time perspective. My mind is kind of in a haze. And my thoughts just fly away like the wind. As can I say for myself. I am really good at just moving on. Not looking back, but just ahead. Yes it could be the best thing or ability, but what about when I do it to fast. Certain things and situations in life could be different just with a click. What if I never was adopted. Would my life then be different from now? Would I still be my optimistic self? With my walk-trough-the-wall attitude and everything will be alright?

It seems sometimes that all I do in this life is waiting. But life is kind of a queue, is it not? You wait nine months before seeing the outside of the womb. Then you wait for schools, being a teenager, getting 18 or some countries 21, so work, finding a companion, starting a family and in the end to die. But in between we do this thing call life, take in experiences, meet friends and see the world for what it is. Some people do settle for less, but is really less more? Why be pleased with knowing that it could have been so much more. And when will I know that it is enough?

Is this my limit, have I reach it now this time around? Is this when I say fuck this and move on?


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

What are we?

So all this back and forth, I have to say it is kind of disturbing to me. Why can you not just be straight with what you want?

Is it hard, or maybe it is just me again? I have to say that I do start to doubt that it is me. Because I am not doing anything. Or maybe that is the problem. But for real, when you are a grown man you should know what you want. Or at least have the guts to try? Is it me that is mistaken. Do I really get it so wrong? Like every women I know we are all just struggling. Should we settle for less? And is less really more?
In my mind I do not think so. I think that we should be allowed to be who we truly are. The one should appreciate, or better to say, have to appreciate me for who I really am! And for the risk of sounding bold, I am one to appreciate. Yes I have my flaws, but on the inside I am good. And that is what counts in the end.

When do you know it is right? It is when the stars blink and the skies are pink?

And why do ex's stay in touch with you? Do they want to have control over your life or are they genuinely sincere and friendly? These are a few thoughts that fly around in this head of mine. Amongst all the other stuff, where does it all come from? I think it is time to sort out what is what and what is real!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY

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While I wait..

I do live this life and take in what is coming to me, so that I will not miss out on anything. So If you somehow do believe that my life is on pause - believe again!

In this life of mine I do experience a lot from a day till day basis. Sometimes it feels like time stands still and other times like it goes to fast. I have a mixed feeling about things. And it is all just things. But it is something to it I guess. A friend of mine is going to Africa for a whole month. Traveling with a group for three weeks! I have to say that I am a little jealous. How sweet would that be, just leaving for a month when it is cold and gray here in Oslo? But I do hope for snow, so I can make snow angels. And get a whiter day.
So while others travel the world and see these places I wait patiently and hope for me to see the world again soon.

I am saving for a trip to South Korea, have to say that I have not saved much yet. But I am not in a hurry. Like I said before, it is not a contest this life we live. I do this in my own way and in my own time. So for you who are in a hurry, chill, take it slow and let your soul rest. The only thing you get out of stress is more stress. And for as long as this relationship thing goes. I do not know really. Is it suppose to be what it is or you tell me?
From one to the other or just the one? That is the question today. It is all these people that keep coming back in my life. I do not know how to take it. But it is what it is and the future will tell. So here is the conclusion, I live my life and if someone wants to be a part of it, just stop me!


Copyright © 2008 Lady AhY